


Mar Jayian

by mehan kartik (daydreamingstoryteller)



Series: Definitions of Memories [2]
Category: Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020)
Genre: 5 Things, 5 Times, 5+1 Things, Betrayal, Break Up, Canon Compliant, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Love, M/M, Pain, Separations, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27371167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydreamingstoryteller/pseuds/mehan%20kartik
Summary: companion piece to the movie and charu's mar jayian edit.5 times Kartik and Aman thought they would lose each other.+1 time they knew they never would.
Relationships: Kartik Singh/Aman Tripathi, Tripathi Parivar & Karman
Series: Definitions of Memories [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2082570
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	Mar Jayian

**Author's Note:**

> i blame charu 😌. also this has been in my drafts for months (like since she first uploaded the video lol. sam and I went like "OMG ANGST" and I came up with this. literally, I went like "charu's edit is v v emotional with the whole "i'll die without you" vibes na? so why not angst fic about them being together and the idea of separating?" 
> 
> anyways yes. this is written to be exactly 950 words and 1 to 5 are all 150 words each, and +1 is 200 words :)

_ 1\. Disappointment  _

_/dɪsəˈpɔɪntm(ə)nt/_

_ sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfilment of one's hopes or expectations. _

Disappointment was what Kartik should have felt in that moment when he’d watched Aman’s dad asked him to stay the hell away from Kartik. But no. The only thing he felt was the crushing truth of the death of all his hopes and dreams.    
  


A home, made out of love and laughter shared between him and Aman. Gone. Sadness engulfed him. He knew this was it. There was no way of coming back from this. They could have lived with Shankar’s anger or cruelty but his disappointment would break Aman. 

Even if they’d leave Allahabad behind and live their life in Delhi Aman’s heart would be stuck at this moment. And Kartik knew that he would never want to hurt his love like that. No. This was it. 

_Tere bin mar jayian re._

_ 2\. Uncertainty  _

_ /ʌnˈsəːt(ə)nti/ _

_ a state of doubt about the future or about what is the right thing to do _

The image of his father trying to hang himself with his mother’s sari looms over him as he leans against the railing and watches the night sky darken around him. The image of the red around his father brings his mind to the pink dupatta that Kartik was wearing the last time he saw him. 

He was probably already on a train to Delhi by now. Would he move out? Would he wait for Aman to come home? The uncertainty of it all slowly chipped away at the edges of Aman’s hope. 

Was there a right thing to do? Or was there just a choice between the lesser of two evils? Either way, Aman knew he would never be himself again. Not Kartik’s Aman.

_Tere bin mar jayian re._

_3. Betrayal _

_ / bɪˈtreɪəl/ _

_ an act of deliberate disloyalty _

Kartik knew betrayal all too well. Usually, it was the old friend that he’d meet before he lost something good forever. 

He never wanted to feel it again but here they were. Or here he was. Alone. Because Aman had left. He had made his decision for the both of them. He ran away from his arms, leaving him alone and now - 

He’d promised himself to someone else that doesn’t even deserve him. He promised to be there for Kartik but he was going to leave him and marry someone else. Even the beatings hurt less than this. Even Shankar had hurt him less than Aman had. 

And Kartik knew that it was over then. Aman was stubborn and his decision was made. Kartik had no place in Aman’s life nor any right to his love anymore.

_ Tere bin mar jayian re.  _

_4\. Helplessness_

_ /ˈhɛlpləsnəs/  _

_ inability to defend oneself or to act effectively _

When Kartik had yelled at him Aman had frozen in his track. “What am I supposed to do? Tell me what to do,” he had begged his love. 

He hadn’t known what to do and he still didn’t. He remembers the fight they’d had near the Ganga. It doesn’t let him go even as he sat on a horse looking at his life walk away from him. From everything, they had dreamed of. 

How was he supposed to react? What was he supposed to do? It felt like he was alone in this fight. Defenseless. Where had his shield gone? His sword? All’s fair in love and war but was this even love anymore or had it died too? Died along with every inch of happiness that Aman had found in Karik’s safe arms?

_ Tere bin mar jayian re.  _

_ 5\. Resignation _

_/rɛzɪɡˈneɪʃ(ə)n/_

_ the acceptance of something undesirable but inevitable _

__  
  


Kartik and Aman took one look at each other and knew. This was not like the other times. This was really the end. The look of grief was written all over each other’s faces, where just minutes ago there had been joy. 

__

But there were no delusions now. The police were here and nothing could change their fate. It didn’t feel like a crushing blow, more like a gradual fall. They had not expected this but they had anticipated this might happen. Maybe. 

__

They never wanted it to be so soon. They thought they would have had more time before the world separated them from each other. Their soulmate. But of course, this wasn’t a movie where the police always come late. This was real life and they weren’t always the lucky ones.

_ Tere bin mar jayian re.  _

_ +1  _ _ Contentment  _

_ a state of happiness and satisfaction, often because you have everything you need;  _

_ a deep-seated sense of accepting who and where you are at any given moment; _

Kartik huffed a laugh out loud as he looked at his almost-husband and hugged him forcefully. He looked around at everyone going back to their fun after talking down the police from arresting them. Never had he felt this much love and support before. 

Gazing into Aman’s own tear-filled eyes, Kartik’s heart soared with the certainty that this was it. They’ll be okay. No matter what happens tomorrow. They will be together. With family and friends to back them up. This was his family now. His and Aman’s. 

Eventually, the next day when the ruling happens, it was Aman’s turn to let the emotions well up around him. He turned to his love immediately and let himself latch onto the other with every ounce of strength he had. He had Kartik, his family’s acceptance, and love, and no one was ever going to take any of it away from him. Ever. He had everything he could possibly need right there. Forever.

Yeah.

Life was just perfect. 

_ Tere bin kya jina bata... _

**Author's Note:**

> i was watching the edit on repeat as I wrote this. beauty. go check it out!! the smzs edit was like one of my fav of all time!!


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